A moment later, hepeeked his head back in and, brilliantly mimicking the Colonel's bossy bass voice, said, \"Christ, you comin' orwhat?\"\"Takumi,\" the Colonel said. Look, Pudge, she obviously wasn't thinking about killing herself whenshe was making out with you. It was so dark and so still that the tiny stream of waterseemed to roar, but I could still hear our hard, fast breaths as we collapsed on wet clay and pebbles beside thecreek. Right, lets talk about the blow job. I loved her, and after she died I couldn't think about anything else. I wassorry I let her die. \"It's a euphemism.\"\"For what?\" Takumi asked.\"Kissing.\"\"Brilliant euphemism.\" Takumi rolled his eyes. But God helpme in a couple of hours\"and I took a French test for which I had studied un petit peu. I was probably just the guy who happened to be there.\"\"Yeah. IT'S TIME TO GO!\" he shouted.\"All right. \"Just tell me yours so I can laugh at your pain,\" and I smiled, and we laughed together.\"My worst day was probably the same day as my best. An hour after the Colonel left, resident stoner Hank Walsten dropped by to offer mesome weed, which I graciously turned down. Wewon't get expelled even if we get caught because there are no expellable offenses herewell, except for the fivebottles of Strawberry Hill in Alaska's backpack, and that will be well hidden. There was nothing you could havedone.\" But if only she knew.And I just stood there, looking at the scene, thinking about her not dead, and I felt a hand on my shoulder andturned around to see the Eagle, and I said, \"I think she's playing a dumb prank,\" and he said, \"No, Miles, no, I'msorry,\" and I felt the heat in my cheeks and said, \"She's really good. \"Vine Station is on the way.\"\"Maybe,\" I said. My grandmother died in Japan. I can't stand these fake grievers.Stupid bitch.\"I almost told him that Alaska wouldn't want him to call any woman a bitch, but there was no use fighting withthe Colonel.twenty days afterit was Sunday,and the Colonel and I decided against the cafeteria for dinner, instead walking off campus andacross Highway 119 to the Sunny Konvenience Kiosk, where we indulged in a well-balanced meal of two oatmealcream pies apiece. \"Straight and fast,\" he said.\"Yeah. What are the rules?\" Lara asked.\"Everybody tells the story of their best day. But more than the noiselessness of everyone elsewas the silence where she should have been, the bubbling bursting storytelling Alaska, but instead it felt likethose times when she had withdrawn into herself, like she was refusing to answer how or why questions, only thistime for good.The Colonel sat down next to me in religion class, sighed, and said, \"You reek of smoke, Pudge.\"\"Ask me if I give a shit.\"Dr. Hyde shuffled into class then, our final exams stacked underneath one arm. Lara had my back.\"\"Yeah, I deed.\"And then Alaska decided that although it wasn't nearly dark yet, it was time for us to get shitfaced.\"Two nights in a row is maybe pushing our luck,\" Takumi said as Alaska opened the wine. !\"\"Yup.\"\"I liked eet,\" Lara said. He was old, but he'd be mad.\"Five four three two one,\" and the sizzle. \"The Eagle ate with me.He wanted to know if we set off the fireworks.\" I paused the game and turned to him. When she cried and told me that she fucked everything up, I knewwhat she meant now. I talked to the police. That was the worst day.\"Lara was laughing. Miles enjoys the experience, but they are so lacking in intimacy that they immediately return to their homework after they finish. He must have skipped Smart Boy Math. \"I'm sorry, sir. We were the distraction.\"We're the fucking Marines,\" he said.\"First to fight. \"I never have.\"\"Think it would be fun?\"DO I!?!?!?!?!?!?!\"Urn. \"I want to be hereI can't believe it,\" which was still partly true.\"That's just awful,\" my dad said. It couldn'thave been that important.\"\"Maybe she was racked with guilt,\" he said.\"Jake said she seemed normal on the phone before she freaked out,\" the Colonel said. They still stored hay there, although I don't know what for. He looked at me. Page: 127-128 He regained his balance briefly, then took astep backward and landed on the couch. I'm gonna fall apart, probably before this chair. Maybe it hadn't meant anything to her, had been nothing more than another grand impulsivity. To be continued.Lara came next, her eyes heavy with swelling. Maybe she wanted to die with white flowers.\"\"Maybe she was going to return them to Jake,\" I said.\"Maybe. I was here, and my mom called, and she didn't tell me the whole story with the cheating andeverything and the hitting until later. And I'm not gonna off myself. Rabe'a al-Adiwiyah, a great woman saint of Sufism, was seen running through the streets of herhometown, Basra, carrying a torch in one hand and a bucket of water in the other. The way the content is organized, LitCharts assigns a color and icon to each theme in. For a moment, I thought. I sported baggy jeans, a sweatshirt with no shirt underneath, and abad case of bedhead. No screaming. It hurt like a beating.Meriwether Lewis's last words were, \"I am not a coward, but I am so strong. Of course. Why Was 'Looking for Alaska' Banned? This One Scene Is to Blame Talk about a guy who could use awife.\"I'm taking Miles and Takumi home for the weekend to New Hope,\" the Colonel told him.\"Miles liked his taste of New Hope that much?\" the Eagle asked me.\"Yee haw! \"Blow really hard onto it for at least two seconds,\" I said.He looked up at me. Okay. As much as I wantedto know how Alaska had died, I wanted to know where she was now, if anywhere. It was fine. It was a good plan, but when I tried to actually get my arm out of the mummy bag, I flailed around likea fish out of water, and nearly dislocated my shoulder. (including. It seemed to me that nothing we might find out wouldmake anything any better, and I could not get the image of the steering wheel careening into her chest out of my At . What.At Room 43, after quickly offered and accepted apologies, the Colonel said, \"We've made a tactical decision topush back calling Jake. Kevin is a blowup doll,\" Alaska said. \"Is that what you told Lara in the TV room? I don't want to know what happened between her and Jake.\"The Colonel sighed and pulled a pack of Pudge Fund cigarettes of his jeans pocket. Why couldn't you just follow the plan? Lara was lying beside me, in her bag,which was almost touching mine. \"I know.\"\"Okay, then. She's dead. \"Less tongue, more lips,\" she said, and Itried my best. I tried tobring up the whole Jake thing, but she just shushed me.\"\"So who called her?\"I kicked off my comforter and, my fist balled, smashed my hand against the wall with each syllable as I said, \"I!DON'T! \"And the story is that I woke up next to a very pretty Hungarian girl and itwas cold but not too cold and I had a cup of lukewarm instant coffee and ate Cheerios without milk and thenwalked through the woods with Alaska and Takumi. If Jake knows, you're not gonna make it any worse. I was too surprised and uncomfortable to talk, trying to fit this intowhat I knew about Alaska's family. It was meI had done it, and so had the Colonel. My fox hat.\"\"Why are you wearing your fox hat?\" I asked.\"Because no one can catch the motherfucking fox.\"Two minutes later, we were crouched behind the trees fifty feet from the Eagle's back door. \"But listendon't tell me anythingthat's not relevant. Like. So,listen. Scream. \"I understand. And then her headlong race comes to its end. \"Takumi!\" Nothing. \"You know? My mouth tasted like a skunk had crawled into mythroat and died. I'd only scanned through the readingI'd been studying only enough not tofail but inmy scanning, I'd come across great last words. I picked up a biographyof Argentinian revolutionary Che Guevarawhose face adorned a poster on the wallthat Lara's roommate hadon her bookshelf, then I lay down next to Lara on the bottom bunk. \"I don't think it would help, to know where she was going. And I walked out of hisembrace and past Lara and Takumi to her casket and knelt before it and placed my hands on the finished wood,the dark mahogany, the color of her hair. \"And we don't know. He was walking through the market one day when heoverheard someone ask a butcher for his best piece of meat. \"Letme ask you a question, Pudge. But even so, the afterlife mattered to me. Article continues below advertisement \"So maybe weactually pulled it off.\" I thought about going over to see Lara, but I was pretty tired, so I just went to bed and sleptthrough my hangover.It was not an eventful day. Alaska is hiding in the woods and she's notdead, she's just hiding. Definitions and examples of 136 literary terms and devices. Hold on, lemme find the quote.\" He flipped a page in the notebook. I wondered if the Colonel would getback by then, where he was. I didn't want the people she didn't knowand the peopleshe didn't liketo be sad. My thoughts were split betweensadness for Dr. Hyde and excitement about Alaska, remembering the up-close sight of her mouth whispering, \"Tobe continued?\"And it did not occur to menot even when Dr. Hyde shuffled into the gym, taking tiny, slow steps toward theColonel and me.I tapped the Colonel on the shoulder and said, \"Hyde's here,\" and the Colonel said, \"Oh shit,\" and I said, \"What?\"and he said, \"Where's Alaska?\" and I said, \"No,\" and he said, \"Pudge, is she here or not?\" and then we both stoodup and scanned the faces in the gym.The Eagle walked up to the podium and said, \"Is everyone here?\"\"No,\" I said to him. Overview. \"Your mom is a wonderful woman.\" The Eagle smiled.\"You're tellin' me.\" The Colonel grinned. How could he not?\"\"Well, you were a little kid,\" Takumi argued. I gag and push her off me, terrified.I woke up falling, and landed with a thud on the floor. I doubt that an instant of blinding pain feels particularly instantaneous.Was there time for her life to flash before her eyes? God, if her father ever found out, hewould disembowel the Colonel and me.\"What can we do for you right now?\" my mom asked.\"I just needed you to pick up. \"I'd give you a pity blow, but I really am attached to Jake.\"\"That's just creepy,\" the Colonel said. Just after we reached thebridge, Takumi stopped, said \"uh-oh,\" got on his hands and knees, and puked a volcano of yellow and pink.\"Let it out,\" Alaska said. One. We're just, you know, wreaking alittle havoc.\"The plan was laid out, and it left no room for error. \"Okay. She's an idiot.\"I thought everyone else had a better excuse to grieve than we didafter all, they hadn't killed herbut I knewbetter than to try to talk to the Colonel when he was mad.nine days after\"i've got a theory,\"the Colonel said as I walked in the door after a miserable day of classes. \"Well, I understand that this is a devastating loss for Alaska's close friends.It's just awful. And I finallyfinished my religion paper.My answer to the question was straightforward enough, really. I could stillhear her saying it: \"This is so fun, but I'm so sleepy. \"I fail,\" he said matter-of-factly.\"Okay, how's your depth perception?\"\"My what perwhatshun?\"\"Look at me. But my body didn't move untilI heard Takumi shout-whisper, \"Go go go fucking go.\"And we went.Three seconds later, a huge burst of pops. I am sure that she tasted like stale booze, but I did not notice, and I'm sure I tastedlike stale booze and cigarettes, but she didn't notice. No. She lay on her side across two bales of hay, the afternoon light brighteningthe green in her eyes, her tan skin the last memory of fall. \"Four. \"I'm sorry,\" I blurted out, and she just squinted at me like someone about to either fightor cry, and disappeared silently into a classroom. He satdown on the cornerof my bed.\"I don't know. \"Alaska isn't here.\"The Eagle looked down. Looking for Alaska will give older teens a lot to. Now give me mycigarettes.\" The Colonel threw the pack on the ground and was up in a flash, a fistful of my sweater in his hand,trying but failing to pull me down to his height.\"You don't even care about her!\" he shouted. Teach your students to analyze literature like LitCharts does. (In the case of the Coosa Liquors trip, Pudge never even gets out of the car.). I stayed behind the Eagle's house until I saw heem run after Miles and Takumi, andthen I ran behind the dorms. Well, I was never that guy,\" he said. and Alaska says, 'Nothing, just doodling,' and then shesays, 'Oh God.' \"Start the car when you hear the second string.\"We left.We did not say: Don't drive. It wasn't the first time Alaska had left me out of the loop, certainly, but after we'd been together so muchover Thanksgiving, it seemed ridiculous to plan the prank with the Colonel but without me. For me, it was just fun, particularly since we were risking expulsion.The nice thing about the constant threat of expulsion at Culver Creek is that it lends excitement to every momentof illicit pleasure. I turn around, and he is lyingon his face. \"This iswe need to do this alone.\"\"No. I don't want to know anything unless it's going to help me know where she was going andwhy.\"\"Me neither, actually,\" Takumi said. We got to the south corner of the lake and started running along the shore. Creating notes and highlights requires a free LitCharts account. God,how did this happen? \"Yeah. \"I don't see how she could have hit the cop by accident unless she was asleep.\"\"Maybe she was going to visit her father,\" Takumi said. It was my firstorgasm with a girl, and afterward, I was embarrassed and nervous, and so, clearly, was Lara, who finally brokethe silence by asking, \"So, want to do some homework?\"There was little to do on the first day of the semester, but she read for her English class. People, I thought, wanted security. \"Damn it,\" he sighed. Alaska, however, could hook up with Miles at any time, but she only does so in the context of a game. She kisses you. \"Well, good then. Complete your free account to request a guide. Most of all, he is motivated by the notion of a "Great . '\"Hyde sat down. \"The guy is a dick. picked up the line then.\"What's wrong?\" he asked.\"Don't yell,\" my mother said.\"I'm not yelling; it's just the phone.\"\"Well, talk quieter,\" she said, and so it took some time before I could say anything, and then once I could, it tooksome time to say the words in ordermy friend Alaska died in a car crash. A breeze picked up, the tall grass outside the barn tilting away from it, and I pulled mysleeping bag over my shoulders to stay warm.\"Best day of my life was January 9, 1997. The lakewasn't all that bigmaybe a quarter mile long, so we didn't have far to go when I saw it.The swan.Swimming toward us like a swan possessed. She just said, 'I sure trust you, son,' and hot damn she does.\" Once out of sight of theEagle's house, we took a sharp right into the woods.We walked on the dirt road over the bridge and back to the school's barn, a dilapidated leak-prone structure thatlooked more like along-abandoned log cabin than a barn. So, so thatnight\" the Colonel continued.And we tried to resurrect the conversation that last night as best we could for Takumi, but neither of usremembered it terribly well, partly because the Colonel was drunk and I wasn't paying attention until she broughtup Truth or Dare. You can outdrink a girl, can't you?\"\"Give me the Mountain Dew,\" he said stoically.And then I heard footsteps outside. I knew it, and I hated her for it. It'sAlaska being Alaska, funny and playful and not knowing when or how to put on the brakes.And then I felt much better, because she had not died at all.I walked back into the gym, and everyone seemed to be in various stages of disintegration. The Colonel can't drop beats, either. The short hair accentuated his features, specifically his too-close-togetherbeady eyes, which did not stand up well to accentuation. I want to go,too!\" And with his last measure of strength, McKinley turned to her and spoke his last words: \"We are all going.\"It was the central moment of Alaska's life. I figured it was working.After fifteen minutes, I handed it to the Colonel. But the cop wouldn't have ananswer for that one.\"Ah hope y'all find out whatever y'all's lookin' for. She drank without lifting her head from the hay.\"I'm sorry,\" Takumi said.\"Why didn't you ever tell me?\" the Colonel asked, his voice soft.\"It never came up.\" And then we stopped asking questions. \"God oh God, I'm sosorry.\"\"Okay,\" the Colonel said. Although, really, he could never suspectanything. Pudge.\"I spent that afternoon with Lara. ). For the best experience on our site, be sure to turn on Javascript in your browser. Still pissed about ratting outMarya?) I found nothing. I know.\"\"I finished memorizing the capitals,\" he said.\"Of the states?\"\"No. For a moment, it was so quiet that you could hear the sound ofnot-breathing, the vacuum created by 190 students shocked out of air.I thought: It's all my faultI thought: I don't feel very good.I thought: I'm going to throw up.I stood up and ran outside.
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